Monthly · August 2026
From the Desk of Allison Hale
A practice that fits your life, from someone who has actually built one.
FROM ALLISON
Welcome back to From the Desk! This month I am taking on a word that comes up a lot in our industry: Grit. I have a lot of feelings about it, and while they may be unpopular, I think it needs to be dropped from our collective vocabulary.
THIS MONTH
Grit almost broke me.
For so long, I thought that I had to work hard to earn my worth. As a working mom with two young kids, exhaustion seemed inescapable. You know, the long days at work, skipped lunches, texts from team members after I got the kids to bed. I was the person at the practice who everyone came to with problems and I doled out solutions like candy. I was actually proud of how much I could take. That is what I was taught to do. No whining (there was actually a sign up near my desk with this phrase), sleep when you are dead, put your head down and push through, and absolutely never let anyone see you struggle. SMILE!
But, here is the truth about grit: it works right up until it doesn't. For women, it can cost us our health, happiness, well being and even our sanity. Grit sounds noble, like strength and good character, but it's really demanding that we completely abandon ourselves and disconnect from our bodies and our own wants.
We put our own needs and wants last in line behind everything else's. And for what? So we can go do the impressive thing, or worse, the thing we think we are supposed to do? What about what we really really want to do or be? When do we get to do that? As women, our tolerance for pain and stress is already too high, and grit is telling us to raise it.
I am not against being strong, but I am totally against the idea that suffering is the price of success. I think real strength is learning to know ourselves well enough to stop before we break. What we actually need is time and space to listen to ourselves when something is not working, because only then can we decide to make a change.
ACTION ITEM THIS MONTH
This week, catch yourself in one grit moment: working through lunch, taking on every problem question or task regardless of how small, or gripping tightly to stress and overwhelm instead of asking for help. When you notice yourself doing this, stop and ask yourself one question: Why am I doing this? Am I doing this because it truly requires me and no one else or because I think powering through makes me strong? Then make a different choice, just one time. Take the lunch break, ask for help, find a coach or a mentor to help you. When you do this how do you feel? Can you breathe more easily, think more clearly, rest? Your practice can survive without your suffering, but first you need to say no to grit.
THINK ABOUT THIS (OR GRAB YOUR JOURNAL)
TRY THIS PROMPT.
Paste this into ChatGPT, Claude, or whatever you use, and answer honestly. It will help you find what grit is costing you.
You are a sharp, warm thinking partner for a woman who runs a dental or specialty practice. I was trained to push through, and I tend to call that strength. Help me see where it is actually costing me.
Ask me one question at a time and wait for my answer before the next one. Start by asking me to describe a recent moment when I pushed through something I did not have to, at work or at home. Then dig into why I did it. Keep going until we reach the belief underneath it, the thing I am afraid will happen if I stop pushing.
Once we get there, tell me plainly what you see. Name the belief, name what it is costing me in time, energy, or health, and give me one specific thing I can stop doing this week and one thing I can hand off to someone else.
Be direct. Do not flatter me, and do not tell me to work harder.
PUT THIS ON A POST-IT
"You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anybody." — Maya Angelou
ON MY NIGHT STAND
Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski
This book was written for us, for women specifically, and it explains something I wish I had understood twenty years ago. Pushing through stress does not actually clear it out of your body. You can solve the problem that stressed you out and still be carrying the stress itself, which is why you can have a good day on paper and still feel wrecked. The part I keep thinking about is what they call Human Giver Syndrome, the idea that women are taught to give and give and treat our own needs as optional. If you have ever felt guilty for resting, this book explains why, and it gives you real ways out.
WHEN YOU ARE READY
Tired of calling exhaustion strength?
I coach female dentists and dental specialists who are ready to stop running on grit and build a practice that actually fits their life. If that is you, reply to this email and tell me where you feel stuck.
I also speak at meetings and study clubs on mindset, leadership, systems, AI and the neuroscience of high-performing teams. If you book speakers, hit reply.
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